THE 2017 ACADEMY AWARDS RED CARPET

Hi Everyone,

In case you’ve been living under a rock, the 89th Academy Awards were on Sunday full of snafus and many a dig at Trump. I mean…envelope-gate? Yikes.

With the awards comes a fantastic Red Carpet and this year a slew of great to horrific looks. There were some stunners and some…well…not stunners.

Little late but better than nothing! So take a look, sound off, and enjoy!

— Christian

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Emma Stone, Custom Givenchy

Ladies and Gentleman: this is the gown you win an Academy Award in.

Not since Audrey Hepburn in 1954 has a starlet won Best Actress in Givenchy and the 63 years was worth the wait. Emma Stone looked like an actual Flapper Oscar statue in a stunning beaded fringed number from the house— and one of Ricardo Tisci’s last showstoppers. Everything from those Old Hollywood waves to the impeccable construction is outstanding. There’s not much else to say but congrats to Ms.Stone on a very well deserved win in the best dress possible.

The newly minted Oscar winner changed into a cool girl slip dress embellished blazer combo with strappy sandals by the house and crimson locks pulled back. The dress was honestly probably heavy and no doubt she wanted to be able to move around and enjoy the night.

Ms. Stone supported Planned Parenthood on the Red Carpet and the ACLU at the after party. GLAAD also had beautiful ampersand pins represented at the awards.

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Meryl Streep, Elie Saab

Meryl Streep was nominated for her 20th, yes 20th, Academy Award on Sunday and instead of focusing on that milestone Uncle Karl Lagerfeld of Chanel started some nonsense with the Oscar winner that she shut right down. Like the pro she is.

Instead of Chanel Ms.Streep wisely chose a custom Midnight Teal satin embellished Elie Saab gown/pants combo and the results were magical. That train. Those heels. That off the shoulder…everything about is perfect for this incredible icon.

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Ginnifer Goodwin, Zuhair Murad. Ruth Negga, Custom Valentino. Olivia Munn, Giambattista Valli

I’m just going to leave this one right here…how the hell did the Fashion Gods let this happen…

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Gabrielle Union, Jean Paul  Gaultier

Here’s a visual for you: all three of these women looked at these “gowns” on the hanger, pondered, and said, “Yup, that’s what I’m wearing tonight!” Like it was a good decision. The right decision. It was not.

Gabrielle Union looks like she got into a fight with a shower curtain and lost.

Rooney Mara, H&M Conscious

Legit the Corpse Bride

Mariah Carey, Phillip Plein 

Jo-Anne Fabrics was having a sale so Mariah Carey went in, wrapped herself around some chiffon, and stuck a pin at her bust to keep it together.

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Brie Larson, Oscar de la Renta and Ralph & Russo 

Last years Best Actress winner Brie Larson not only threw major (deserved) shade at Casey Affleck but showed off that body-oddy-oddy in a killer dramatic deep V crushed velvet Oscar de la Renta cha-cha gown with satin faced ruffle and simple sandals. This would have been a total home-run for Captain Marvel had it not been for that unfortunate hair…a soft wave really would have brought this one home.

The Blonde beauty swapped crushed velvet for satin sporting a deep teal Ralph & Russo 70’s inspired number for the after-party. To say I prefer the hair here is an understatement and had that shoe been an open toed strappy sandal this would have been an A+++. Still fantastic, dramatic, and gorgeous.

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Dakota Johnson, Gucci

I totally get that Dakota Johnson is a Gucci Girl, it generally works for her, but my God this is horrendous. The champagne looks like she stole it from Joan Crawford and the bow from Baby Jane. What is happening here? Who let her out of the house?

Charlize Theron, Dior 

For the face of Dior, and one of the most gorgeous creatures on this planet, the fact that Charlize Theron wore an off the Runway (not custom) Dior and it made her look big and wide is terribly upsetting.

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Jennifer Aniston, Versace

I’m thinking Jennifer Aniston should wear exclusively Versace 24/7 because yet again the “Jennifer goes to the Oscars in Versace” is a smash. She looks smokin’ hot.

Taraji P.Henson, Alberta Ferretti 

Also smokin’ hot? Taraji P. Henson in a Midnight Blue crushed velvet off the shoulder Alberta Ferretti gown with high slit and the most beautiful showcase of Cookie’s cookies. This is easily her all time best.

The best revenge for not getting nominated? Al. Of. This.

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Viola Davis, Custom Armani and Custom Brandon Maxwell 

How is Viola Davis just getting an Oscar now? Whatever…

The beauty took home the Gold in a vibrant custom Armani gown with dramatic draping and all kinds of compliments to her impeccable physique and complexion. She then chose an equally stunning custom multi-lapel Brandon Maxwell suit paired with quirky Stella McCartney platform loafers.

No doubt she danced the night away with that little Gold man.

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Hailee Steinfeld, Ralph & Russo

Hailee Steinfeld brought the drama in Ralph & Russo and I’m still gathering my jaw off the floor.

Nicole Kidman, Armani Prive

Nicole Kidman looks like a very statuesque very beautiful piece of Beige. I wanted so much more for her…there’s no dimension or depth. It’s far too one note for me and I am wildly disappointed in her choice.

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Going out on a limb and saying Ms.Kidman didn’t want to damage those no doubt precious vintage jewels on her wrists, but, there had to be another way for her to clap…

Isabelle Hubbert, Armani Prive

As I said, Isabelle Hubbert no doubt would go with Armani. The French icon chose a stunning piece with dramatic shoulders and a touch of volume at the sleeves. Classic yet modern with that outstanding ear cuff she sported.

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Octavia Spencer, Marchesa

I’m still not sure on my opinion on this for Octavia and if you look at her face I’m not sure she does either…

Naomie Harris, Calvin Klein

Clean. Modern. Fresh. Exquisite.

Naomie Harris have us Superhero Chic in sequin bustier Calvin Klein pencil dress with inverted train and slight slit under the bust. Between those fresh off the Runway heels and those slick locks I need to be resuscitation.

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Alicia Vikander, Louis Vuitton

Alicia Vikander looks like she’s going to the Prom. I don’t know what’s worse: those little sleeves and necklace from Claire’s, or her weird topknot and odd choice of sandal. Not to mention she changed into an equally unattractive doily for the after party.

Jessica Biel, Kaufmanfranco and Tiffany’s

When I saw Jessica Biel on the Red Carpet, I actually had to stop and take a breath. Mrs. Justin Timberlake was an Egyptian Goddess rocking a stunning Kaufmanfranco tattered in all the right places gown with an insane Tiffany’s chocker. This is what we call show-stopping.

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Ruth Negga, Oscar de la Renta

Now why didn’t she just wear this to the ceremony?

Felicity Jones, Dior

Felicity Jones has made quite a few mistakes on the Red Carpet. It’s been painful. This is the look we all deserve and hopefully the path of the future for her.

Halle Berry, Versace

Foxy Brown Couture and it’s working. That hair could be a bit more manicured but this is the best Halle look we’ve gotten in a long, long time.

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Amy Adams, Tom Ford

Amy Adams Tom Ford liquid gown gliding across that Oscars stage is the best “F-You for not nominating me” I have ever seen.

Kirsten Dunst, Dior

Kirsten Dunst tends not to dress the best for her body (breasts) but this Dior is so perfectly suited for her I’m in awe. Maybe her best dressed ever.

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Chrissy Teagan, Zuhair Murad

Why does Chrissy Teagan always look like that Bond Villain chick? Also, we get it, you have nice legs. She needs a jolt in her style and stop wearing gowns Alexis Carrington would.

Leslie Mann, Zac Posen

I usually love whatever Leslie Mann is selling— she’s the best plus one— but wow…there’s nothing here I can get behind. Kudos to the risk, but honey come on. Remember in Gym class when you would play with that big colorful parachute thing?

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Michelle Williams, Louis Vuitton

This is what we call a nominee’s dress; Michelle knew she wasn’t going to win but wanted to wear something pretty and understated. I am glad she came as Mia Farrow from “Rosemary’s Baby.”

Scarlett Johansson, Alaia

Punk Rock Princess Scarlett Johansson oozed confidence and sex with a pompadour and pout. This really shouldn’t work as a look but I love it.

Rosie Huntington Whitely, Versace

If this is a glimpse of Rosie Huntington Whitely’s maternity style, I hope she stays pregnant for the next 10 years. Breathtaking.

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Emma Roberts, Vintage Armani Prive

That dye is straight up out a box…who did that to your head, girl?

Kate Hudson, Cavalli 

Compared to last years disaster, Kate Hudson gets some kind of MVP because this nude Cavalli is what dreams are made of.

Thandie Newton, Schiaparelli

If the Tin Man and David Bowie had a baby it would be this Schiaparelli gown. I love this so hard it hurts and it make my heart swell it’s on Thandie Newton.

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Janelle Monae, Elie Saab

To no one’s surprise, Janelle Monae came out swinging on the Red Carpet in a piece of art courtesy of Elie Saab. To say she slayed doesn’t do her justice.

Sarah Paulson, Ronald van der Kemp

Sarah Paulson could possibly be committed for her parti-colored Rnald van der Kemp velvet gown, but she’s owning every weird inch of this look. Why don’t we get more risks like this?

Tracee Ellis Ross, Zuhair Murad

Tracee Ellis Ross loves to make a statement, and a statement she’s made in this Ruby Zuhair Murad gown.

These three are what we call Fashion Girls.

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Reese Witherspoon, Michael Kors

If Reese Witherspoon’s goal was to find a dress that made her bod and legs look killer, well, she succeeded.

Kelly Ripa, Paul Marlow

I love a boy-meets-girl look and a tux on a lady so Kelly Ripa gave me everything I wanted. Can Jared Leto stop doing stuff like this though? I am referring to not only the photobomb but dressing like a homeless rapper.

Diane Kruger, Alexandre Vauthier

As much as I love Diane Kruger’s style, this dress was not a win when at first. While age is just a number it seems a tad wee on the 40 year old. But then I looked again and she looks drop dead sexy and the dress itself is like a sexed up vintage Vionnet.

In the end, I love it and hope she does something like this again.

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Kate Beckinsale, Zuhair Murad

Ice Queen meets Black Swan.

Nina Dobrev, Dior

Nina Dobrev gave herself a well deserved jolt in the style department when she cut her signature long longs off and Sunday she showed off and even shorter cooler choppy version. That works.

What doesn’t work is how badly this stunning Dior gown smooshes her boobs. They look inverted. Can someone check to see in Nina is still with us?

Katy Perry, Jean Paul Gaultier

Katy Perry has been so robotic and annoying lately. Even if I found this brassy Jean Paul Gaultier gown pretty I couldn’t enjoy it.

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My best dressed may go to the Oscars stage though! I mean, look at it! Gorgeous Art Deco crystal Realness? Insanely gorgeous.

All images courtesy of Google

© Copyright 2017 The New York Narrative. All rights reserved.

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One Comment

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  1. I agree with all you said. My top vote goes to the lovely Mrs. Justin Theroux-Jennifer Aniston. Never disappoints me!!!
    Mama Lisa 😍

    Like

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