The New York Narrative

Hi Everyone,

Second to the Met Gala and slightly edging out Award Season, the Cannes International Film Festival is my favorite Red Carpet event of the year. With so much luxe, glamour, and the absurd rule ladies have to wear heels of they’ll be turned away (no, seriously…it’s absurd) what’s not to love?

There’s something about the light in Cannes that makes everyone, and I mean everyone, look like a bonafide Movie Star. The festivities are not yet finished by between my work trip to Paris last week and heading to Mexico for Memorial Day (ole!) I wanted to bring some looks your way.

So take a look, happy early Memorial Day, GET OUTSIDE THIS WEEKEND, and enjoy!

— Christian

Julianne Moore, Armani-“Le Tete Haute” Premiere

Let’s just kick it off with some glamour, shall we? JULIANNE FREAKING MOORE. Right off the bat, Ms.Moore gives us another divine look in her gunmetal Armani plumed and beaded gown with deep V cut and Black velvet bow. Between the sleek hair, those insanely gorgeous Emerald dazzlers, and smokey make-up I cannot find a single thing wrong here.

While this is a killer Cannes gown, maybe it should have been worn to the Met Gala since it has a bit of an Asian influence in it’s design? Either way, major Fashion moment.

Julianne Moore, Givenchy- “Mad Mad: Fury Road” Premiere

Just when we thought it couldn’t get any better, the Oscar winner decides to show up in a custom Burgundy one shoulder Velvet and Snakeskin Givenchy gown with dramatic front slit perfectly accessorized with diamonds.

I am torn on which look I prefer as they are both insanely luxe and high Fashion. Everything about these looks has been so well thought out down to the matching velvet shoes to the perfect tresses and matching manicure. While the Armani is a tad classier, the Givenchy is Fashion forward and just plain cool. I can’t decide…thank you, Ms.Moore.

Charlize Theron, Dior- “Mad Mad: Fury Road” Premiere

Following Ms.Moore’s the glamour streak, Charlize Theron gave us her best Old Hollywood moment in a lemon-y Dior strapless gown with just the right amount of train.

There’s a hint of Thierry Mugler  in that pointed strapless bodice, which I kind of love. She hasn’t had a “wow” moment like this in a while. Movie. Star.

Charlize Theron, Givenchy- “Mad Mad: Fury Road” Photo Call

Switching gears to a Rock ‘N Roll Givenchy number at the photo call, the Blonde bombshell was giving lots o’ leg in her fringed leather mini. My hesitation here is how shapeless the piece is. Had this been nipped in at the waist I would have been all for it; other than that, I love all the elements together.

Diane Kruger, Prada- “Maryland” Premiere

Never one to disappoint, Diane Kruger showed us how it’s done in a Periwinkle embellished halter Prada down with dramatic cape-train offset with an Electric Blue satin clutch and effortless hair and make-up.  Ms.Kruger quite excels when she hits the Red Carpet at the festival and this is no exception. Breathtaking.

Emily Blunt, Stella McCartney- “Sicaro” Premiere

This one is one for the books. This may be Emily Blunt’s best look to date. Ever. Like, ever, ever.

Looking absolutely striking in a crystal Stella McCartney open back long sleeve column gown, Ms.Blunt personified modern sophistication while still having the cool factor. Partly because her body and beauty are on fleek, this whole look just screams “I’m a movie star at Cannes.” At ease swept up hair and just the right amount of jewels keeps the actress looking young and fresh.

I couldn’t be happier she chose not to wear the mirrored belt Stella likes to throw on everything…I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again: can they just crown her Captain Marvel yet or what?

Natalie Portman, Lanvin- “Sicaro” Premiere

Oh Natalie Portman…why are you doing this to us? While that emerald Green is absolutely stunning on the actress, the dress is incredible unflattering. That low, low V cut and silly Grecian tie belt are doing her svelte figure no favors…especially in the boobage department. Snooze.

Jump down for more Natalie looks…they were much better than this.

Diane Kruger, Dolce & Gabbana-  “Maryland” Photo Call

Ms.Kruger’s photo call look make just as much an impact in it’s own way in her baby Blue Dolce & Gabbana 3/4 sleeved mini with embellished buttons and rose detail. She has legs for days and is glowing…that is all I can say. She’s perfect.

Emily Blunt, Calvin Klein- Calvin Klein Collection Celebrate Women in Film

Emily Blunt’s cream Calvin Klein column gown with spaghetti straps and slicked back hair is kind of a bore. It’s not even an interesting minimal look, it’s just…minimal…especially when we know she is capable of so much more.

Emily Blunt, Peter Pilotto- “Sicaro” Photo Call

This is much more an Emily Blunt look I can get behind. More true to her style, Ms.Blunt’s Peter Pilotto multi-colored long sleeve tea length dress is the perfect piece to wear in Cannes. It’s colorful, chic, and modern while still being photo-friendly.

If I had to nitpick, I like Ms.Blunt as a Blonde (say that five times fast…), but the shade she’s got right now looks a little brassy and fake. A warmer tone would suit her much more. Easy waves, a bold Red lip, and amazing Jimmy Choo’s round out her look.

Emma Stone, Oscar de la Renta- “Irrational Man” Photo Call

In true Emma Stone fashion, the redhead gave us a sweet but cool offering it a fun puffy Oscar de la Renta lace and crinoline mini showing lots of legs topped off with great Black to Beige Louboutin heels. Ms.Stone’s effortless updo and easy make-up make this the perfect photo-call look. Very classy.

Emma Stone, Dior- “Irrational Man” Premiere

It’s happened: an Emma Stone look I am not enamored by. Not one bit.

Ms.Stone is capable of such incredible drop dead knock em out looks that this is just disappointing. Her icy Dior netted dress is a tad ill fitting and washes the actress out. It’s just a bore all around, quite frankly.

That choker looks like it’s from Claire’s circa 1996…

Parker Posey- “Irrational Man” Premiere

I have no idea what Parker Posey is wearing here but I am obsessed with it. She looks like a crazy Lower East Side Gypsy and I’m digging it.

Eva Longoria, Gabriela Cadena- “Inside Out” Premiere

So, I’m not really sure what’s going on here but I am pretty sure Eva Longoria is auditioning for the next season of “Ru Paul’s Drag Race.” I’m actually at a loss for words to this incredibly dated and very rough look. Huh?

Paris Hilton- “Inside Out” Premiere

Don’t worry everyone, Paris Hilton made sure she and her guest were the classiest ones at the Cannes International Film Festival…

Natalie Portman, Rodarte- “A Tale of Love and Darkness” Photo Call

I might have actually done a happy dance when I saw Natalie Portman’s “A Tale of Love and Darkness” Photo Call look. It wasn’t Dior, it wasn’t Mumsy, and it was totally out of her comfort zone. Ms.Portman is giving us a “Black Swan” kind of vibe and I am digging it. I also really loved this collection so it’s nice to see it worn at such a regal event.

Natalie Portman, Dior- “Le Tete Haute” Premiere

Then it was right back to Dior…shocker. Though, I have to say, she looks breathtaking here.

It is a little strange the French Fashion House basically gave her and Charlize Theron the same dress in different colors though…

Natalie Portman, Dior- “A Tale of Love and Darkness” Premiere

Giving off that Audrey Hepburn vibe she does so well, the Oscar winner looked lovely in a strapless Dior with watercolor effect skirt and chunky heels. A little safe and conservative, I don’t mind this look. In fact, I don’t mind any of her Cannes looks. Rodarte easily won though…I mean, come on…

Jake Gyllenhaal, Calvin Klein- Calvin Klein Collection Celebrate Women in Film

One of  the film festivals judges, hunky-mc-hunk Jake G rocked a very well cut Navy suit with masculine scruff and just the right amount of cuff showing. His brocade tie was a nice touch of texture.

Jake Gyllenhaal- Cannes Press

While doing some press, Mr.Gyllenhall wore a more casual Brown/Beige suit with a classic White shirt, a great head of hair, and cool sunnies.

This reminds me of a nicely cut suit a handsome Hollywood legend would have worn in a Hitchock film circa 1960’s, which is great. Not so great is how wrinkled the suit it. Can’t fault Jake G, it’s unfortunately the nature of the fabric. Still a babe.

Karlie Kloss, Versace- “Le Tete Haute” Premiere

Model and Taylor Swift posse member Karlie Kloss rocked Versace hot pants and a cut out top to the “Le Tete Haute” Premiere. While her hair and make-up are mind blowingly perfect, that top confuses me. Is it a dress? It is a top? Is it a leftover Barbarella costume? It hits Ms.Kloss at a weird place and looks like it’s too short around the ankles. Oh, and cheap.

Eva Longoria, Gabriela Cadena- Champ’seed Bash

Ms.Longoria clearly still thinks she’s on “Desperate Housewives” because only her character Gabby would wear such an unflattering, and quite frankly skanky, dress like this one that’s very circa 2006.

Kendall Jenner, Alaia- “Youth” Premiere

I’m not sure what Kendall Jenner is doing at the Cannes International Film Festival, but she’s there dressed like a trampy Goth princess. I don’t care this is Alaia and it’s “like a totally important designer,” it’s bad. All around. Points for fantastic make-up though.

Irina Shayk, Versace- “Sicaro” Premiere

Models are gorgeous, right? So why do some chose heinously tacky pieces like this to show off in? I can’t even believe this is Versace…it looks like a  Freshman in Fashion School ran out of time and just started gluing strips of glitter to the bodice. Don’t even get me started on those tacky shoes…

Araya A. Hargate, Ashi Studio- “Sicaro” Premiere

I’m not quite sure who Araya A.Hargate is, but she just impressed me and blew me away all at the same time. Her Ashi Studio gown is beyond and the fact she can navigate such an event in such a stunning piece deserves a standing ovation. Slow clap and snaps for Ms.Hargate.

Lupita Nyong’o, Gucci- “Le Tete Haute” Premiere

Oh look, Lupita Nyong’o knows how to twirl…

Looking a little silly throwing her Gucci gown to the wind, Lupita Nyong’o also looked rather dated in her accordion pleated adorned offering topped off with a Carrie Bradshaw bun and headbands.

The color is incredible against her skin, but the dress is too 2002 for me. Lupita is chicer than this and should continue being the “one to watch” at every event.

Naomi Watts, Elie Saab- “Le Tete Haute” Premiere

I’m going to say it: Naomi Watts may have just been crowned the Queen of Cannes. With two films there and many appearances later, Ms.Watts came out the winner with each look more chic than the last and all very event appropriate.

To kick things off, the Oscar nominee donned a dusty Grey plumed and beaded Elie Saab confection with fun pockets and one hell of a doorknocker necklace. While this could have read tacky and over the top, Ms.Watts subtle hair and make-up balance out the look keeping it modern and glam.

Naomi Watts, Armani- “The Sea of Tree’s” Premiere

Giving us a bit of throwback with cascading ruffles, Ms.Watts stayed in the same color palette and wore a beautiful asymmetrical embroidered Armani dress to the premiere of her latest. It may not be a showstopper like the Elie Saab, but she looks impossibly stunning and very classic.

Naomi Watts, Altuzarra- Cannes Film International Opening Ceremony Dinner

Less formal an event called for less formal a look, but still a gorgeous one nonetheless. Her Altuzarra high collar lace and bedazzled number was just the right amount of sexy without being too much.

Naomi Watts, Rochas- Bulgari Store Opening

Knowing how to wear Black but not fade into the background, Ms.Watts Rochas bustier fit and flare dress paired with a massive Buglari snake necklace was very French and very chic. The tousled hair is a bit much, but she’s working it. Points for keeping the shoes simple.

Naomi Watts, Ralph Lauren- “Mad Max: Fury Road” Premiere

Classic Grace Kelly Realness. That’s all I have to say, she looks like a screen siren in her simple strapless Ralph Lauren.

Naomi Watts, Peter Pilotto- “The Sea of Tree’s” Photo Call

Keeping it fun, the Aussie actress donned a playful Peter Pilotto handkerchief hem multi-color dress with cherry Red shoes and a way updo. Another win.

Julianne Moore, Chanel- Tropee Chopard

I cannot say I am much a fan of my favorite’s Black Chanel gown, nor that age defining hairdo, but her jewelry is gorgeous and she looks happy. I refused to even comment on Zoe Kravets and Salma Hayak…snooze…

Jane Fonda, Versace- “The Sea of Tree’s” Premiere

While yet another bodycon gown from Jane Fonda’s favorite Versace, her electric Blue stunner is working overtime. She looks amazing, and that high neck illusion panel thing is pretty cool. If it aint broke, and it really aint, then don’t fix it.

Jane Fonda- “Youth” Photo Call

For her “Youth” photo call, Ms.Fonda wore a beautifully cut White suit with fun tassel beaded scarf and signature do. Clearly the coolest one in the room.

Jane Fonda, Schiaparelli- “Youth” Premiere

All I will say here is maybe Jane should have stuck to the whole “look how amazing I look” Versace thing…this one bums me out. Hard.

Rachel Weisz, Prada- “Youth” Premiere 

While Rachel Weisz fared better at other events (see below), her satin Teal long sleeved keyhole bias cut Prada gown isn’t horrible, the fabric just isn’t forgiving. A slightly wavy deep parted do and complimentary satin clutch rounded out her look.

Rachel Weisz, Narciso Rodriguez- “The Lobster” Photo Call

Easily my favorite look from Ms.Weisz comes from her Cabaret-esque fitted and beyond beautifully cut jumpsuit by buddy Narciso Rodriguez. The slicked back hair gives a beyond cool attitude as does the only jewelry by way of simple drop earrings. This is how I like my Rachel Weisz.

Rachel Weisz, Louis Vuitton- “The Lobster” Premiere

Later that evening Ms.Weisz donned a beautiful White and Silver beaded long sleeved Louis Vuitton dress with keyhole and wavy raven locks. This is not the most interesting nor exciting of looks but it’s still fresh and clean and in the Oscar winners wheelhouse. I consider this a victory.

Rachel Weisz, Calvin Klein- Calvin Klein Collection Celebrate Women in Film

Finally bringing some color into the fold, her Calvin Klein halter dress is nice enough— the color is incredible against her skin and hair— but the overly minimal look is leaving me yawning. That said, she still looks radiant.

Salma Hayek, Gucci- “Carol” Premiere

I’m not the only one who is bored by this, right? I mean great chest babe but we get it…

Salma Hayek- Cannes Press

This is a look I can get behind. Salma Hayek is a very small woman with very large assets; when she wears a little fit and flare mini with gorgeous accessories and cool sunnies like this, I’m much more into her.

Salma Hayek, Alexander McQueen- “Tale of Tales” Premiere

One of my favorite McQueen looks from Resort 13 and no one had worn it, until now. Ms.Hayek looked beautiful in the multi-tiered glistening dress that fits her spirit and personal style in a more polished way then, ahem, that Purple Gucci. That snake armband though is so unnecessary and out of place.

Cate Blanchett, Giles- “Carol” Premiere

Easily the coolest one in the room without even trying, Cate Blanchett wore an incredible empire waist strapless Giles gown with insanely interesting screen printed design running throughout it. This will not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s totally in her wheelhouse and couldn’t be more a perfect look to stroll down the Cannes Red Carpet in.

Cate Blanchett, Alexander McQueen- “Carol” Photo Call

Continuing her hot streak, Ms.Blanchett wore a beautiful textured Black McQueen ensemble featuring sheer turtleneck tiered dress (very Carrie Bradshaw) with a sheer jacket draped effortlessly over her shoulders topped off with classic Louboutin’s and soft waves. I hate nothing about this look.

Rooney Mara, Alexander McQueen- “Carol” Photo Call

Following her much more chic a co-star’s lead, Rooney Mara also wore McQueen by way of a stunning long sleeved lace and crepe confection offsetting her raven hair and fair skin. This was one of my favorite looks from this particular collection, but Ms.Mara is not doing it justice one bit. She looks like a bored dead fish who has to go to the bathroom.

I wish this had been saved for someone like Elizabeth Olsen or Emma Stone who would have actually breathed life into such a stunning piece.

Cate Blanchett, Armani- “Sicaro” Premiere

Literally the epitome of style and elegance, Ms.Blanchett continued to rein supreme on the Red Carpet in a stunning Asian influence in it’s design Black Armani gown with deep V, billowy sleeves, oversized Obi belt, and killer cuffs. This is how to do Black on the Red Carpet, people: with texture and sophistication. Showstopping.

Rooney, Rochas- “Carol” Premiere

Another case of gorgeous gown on the dead fish who has to use the toilet…

Eva Longoria, Versace- “Carol” Premiere

Yeah…I just can’t…

Sienna Miller, Lanvin- “Le Tete Haute” Premiere

Possibly her best of the three looks, Sienna Miller chose a gorgeous royal Blue asymmetrical Lanvin gown with signature exposed zipper and intricate pleating detail at the shoulder. Hitchcock Blonde hair and make-up rounded out her classic with a twist offering.

Sienna Miller, Balenciaga- Cannes Film Jury Photo Call

Second to her Lanvin, Ms.Miller’s Balenciaga off the shoulder overly textures dress with simple heels made just as much an impact. While the length could read as conservative, the off the shoulder keeps it youthful as does her flippy 60’s do. Perfect photo call appearance.

Sienna Miller, Valentino- “The Sea of Tree’s” Premiere

This Valentino is a little homespun for my tastes…it doesn’t do anything for the stunning actress. Is that a kite on her bust?

Andie MacDowell, Elie Saab- “Inside Out” Premiere

Andie MacDowell must be drinking the same water that JLo is because the woman does not age. While beautiful and intricate, Ms.MacDowell’s Elie Saab seems a tad dated but I can see past it. She’s not 25 and is still giving a lot of the younger actress’ a run for their money. Lovely all around.

My only nitpick would be is her boobies are looking a little saggy…can’t have them slip under your pits now can we, Miss!

Amy Poehler, Stella McCartney – “Inside Out” Photo Call

Anybody else prefer Amy Poehler as a ginger? I’m loving the funny lady’s new do as it’s a rare hue we see on stars. Plus she’s been a blonde forever; fun she’s mixing it up. Her Black and White printed is sweet and simple enough if not a bit safe and boring. The Cannes lighting is doing wonders for her.

Amy Poehler, Stella McCartney- “Inside Out” Premiere

Maybe one of her best Red Carpet looks ever, Ms.Poehler stunned in a simple strapless Black column Stella McCartney gown with signature Gold metal belt. It may be the most basic thing she could have worn, but it’s packing a punch with how sophisticated and cool she looks. I mean, she’s confident here folks.